Life begins...

I turned 40 this month. I was not quite sure how to feel about the whole experience and it was like I was waiting for a big explosion of some sort to happen during the day. It was my second day at a new job and that sort of "cushioned" my edginess. Many people say that life begins at 40. Well, the truth is, life begins when you want it to begin. You don't exactly have to wait for your age to reach a certain number for your life to "begin".

Maybe what is meant by that statement (which I've always felt is a bunch of sugar-coated sour grapes) is that at 40, life has somewhat "stabilized" and is moving at a more constant pace. Let's use me as an example. I am more calm and collected. I no longer suffer from those bouts of restlessness, dissatisfaction and eternal anxiety that haunt many people who are of a younger age group. I am no longer on the hunt for true love. I've met with love, hung around it for a while, decided that it wasn't true after all and moved on. Now I understand that in order for true love to happen, I have to be true to myself first and foremost.

Most importantly, I have arrived at a point where I really know myself and I know what I want in life. I am no longer easily persuaded by what other people say I should do or who I should be. Other people's expectations are no longer my concern. I can now say (with panache and grace) "This is what I want, and this is what I will do". This, to me, is the most valuable gift for turning 40.

PS I have also survived a place that would make Mordor look like play school and Sauron like a kindergarten teacher. Nothing can beat that.

PPS Jared's turning 40 too in December :)